The Evil Bug
by relytA
Summary: An evil bug has been up Vicky's butt, and is destroying the town. A different ending to an episode. pg13 for language, and nastiness.


"Oh man, why does Vicky have to be so mean all the time?" Timmy asked.  
  
"Well Timmy, it's because she has this evil bug in her butt that you should know nothing about yet because I'm skipping my lines." Wanda answered.  
  
"Hey Timmy, why don't you wish for the bug to leave Vicky's body and crawl into someone much more important to ruin your life, and a planet!! Because as you don't know the bug won't disappear, but that's not important, so wish for it, because Vicky's standing outside listening to our conversation." (WOW!!! A big word.) Cosmo pointed out.  
  
Timmy agreed, "Okay, I wish the bug in Vicky's butt was gone. Hey, do you think that now, Vicky will run outside and mow the lawn while sitting on a deer wearing slutty clothes?"  
  
Vicky screeched, "Twerp!!!!! Who the heck do you think you're talin'- ooooohhhh!!!!!!! Butt bug crawls out of Vicky's butt nice voice Oh Timmy!!!! Are you all right? Pay no attention to the bug that's leaving the room, and that'll crawl into someone else's butt."  
  
"Hey, how do you know about that?" Timmy asked.  
  
"Well, besides the fact that I'm your loving babysitter that invades your privacy, and the fact that a huge 3 inch bug came out of my but, which made me feel like I crapped my pants, I shouldn't." Vicky commented.  
  
"Well okay... awkward silence shouldn't you leave now, and go have a deer mow the lawn or something?" Timmy asked.  
  
"What a great idea. Why didn't I think of that?" Vicky asked.  
  
"Because we are all unreal characters who do not think for themselves, but our genius writers do. Who are over paid and under worked. Whoops, I mean the other way around." Timmy suggested.  
  
"Oh Timmy, you're so silly sometimes. Ruffles hair, and skips out singing a chip skylark song" (off key)  
  
Timmy asked, "Why is the camera still here? Shouldn't it be zooming in on a deer that's mowing the lawn? And where does the deer come from? I mean, there are no woods for at least 5 billion miles, which we would normally zoom out to see it, but it's too far away."  
  
"Hey look!!! A camera!!!!" Cosmo stated.  
  
Wanda said, "Yes, sweetie, we are on TV at the moment, but don't look into it because it shall ruin the effect of this lame cartoon."  
  
Cosmo moves really close to the camera and bumps his head on it  
  
The Camera guy complained, "that's it, I'm gonna go zoom into a deer or something. Leaves stage to go zoom in on a deer"  
  
"On pitch black stage I'm glad that he left." Wanda said.  
  
"How come I can't see you?" Cosmo asked.  
  
"Because the camera guy left." Wanda answered.  
  
"There was a camera guy?" Cosmo asked.  
  
"You know, you say way too many stupid things. From this point on, you have taken a vow of silence. Wanda waves wand to glue Cosmo's mouth shut"  
  
Timmy suggested, "let's go wait by the phone for my mom to call to say that my dad has an evil bug up his butt that she should know nothing about. All walk, or float to the telephone you know, how did I get fairy god parents when there are starving kids all over the world. It doesn't make much sense."  
  
"You know you could always wish us away for one of those kids." Wanda suggested.  
  
"No that's okay, I think I'll keep you and be a selfish brat."  
  
"Damn." Wanda answered.  
  
"What was that?" Timmy asked.  
  
Wanda said, "oh nothing. Telephone rings"  
  
"Should I answer it?" Timmy asked.  
  
Wanda said, "No, I mean it is only your house."  
  
"Shut up." Timmy answered. Answers phone "Hello?"  
  
A Guy with a Texas accent said, "I want my hat back. You stole it, and at this exact moment you should be wearing it, trying to confuse yourself."  
  
Timmy asked, "Who the hell is this?"  
  
GWTA asked, "Isn't this the secret window?"  
  
Timmy answered, "No It's not."  
  
GWTA said, "well, sorry to bother you, but have you seen a cowboy hat?"  
  
"Throws a cowboy hat to the side no I haven't." Timmy answered.  
  
GWTA said, "Okay, real sorry to bother you."  
  
"Yeah whatever. Hangs up phone, and waits for it to ring"  
  
Phone rings  
  
Answers it "Hello?" Timmy asked.  
  
"Oh Timmy, we might be a little late coming home. There's some traffic here, and even though we could just walk to get there faster, I think we'll drive the car and gain 10 pounds." Timmy's Mom said.  
  
"Where are you?" Timmy asked  
  
"In the drive way, trying to pull out." She answered.  
  
"Since when do you have a cell phone?" Timmy asked.  
  
"Well that's great, now the author knows that I shouldn't have a cell phone and will discon---"dial tone (AN: did you ever realize that in cartoons when people hang up there are dial tones, but when people in real life hang up there isn't one.)  
  
"Hey, there's a dial tone." Timmy stated.  
  
Wanda said, "That's because she hung up dear."  
  
"Yeah, but did you ever realize that in cartoons when people hang up there are dial tones, but when people in real life hang up there isn't one." Timmy said.  
  
"Stop trying to sound smart. Every one knows you just copied that from the author's note." Wanda said angrily.  
  
Timmy asked, "Do you want to go outside and watch Vicky mow the lawn in skimpy clothing?"  
  
"Even though I am not gay... HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!" Wanda and Timmy run off to the lawn  
  
Muffled  
  
Camera guy laughed, "ha ha. You can't talk." runs out to the lawn to watch Vicky in skimpy clothing camera zooms in towards telephone while no one is there  
  
Telephone rings and answering machine starts  
  
Timmy on answering machine "Hi, you've reached the turner residents. If you have something important to say, leave a message, and we won't get back to you. We'll probably completely disregard it. And if you're looking for your cowboy hat, we didn't steal it."  
  
GWTA asked, "are you sure you didn't steal my hat?"  
  
Phone rings again and answering machine starts up again.   
  
"Timmy, I just remembered that it's Monday, and you should be in school. Oh and your dad has an evil bug up his butt that I should know nothing about. Bye" Timmy's mom added.  
  
Timmy magically appears at the school because the author is too lazy to explain exactly what happened, and it matches up with the plot  
  
"Hey look, the president is coming to town. When did that happen?" Timmy pointed out.  
  
"Well, the author just forgot to put it in." Wanda stated.  
  
"Okay, now the camera should zoom into the car." Timmy said.  
  
Camera zooms into the car  
  
"Mr. President. Do you have the button that will blow up the whole world if some kid magically flew into the car and sat on it?" a man in the car asked.  
  
"Of coarse. So let me just put it next to me just in case some kid flies into the car and sits on it." The president answered.  
  
"Oh no, we shouldn't know about that button, because we weren't in the car but oh well. I wish I could fly out of here with everyone noticing." Timmy's desk magically gets rockets and shoots off Timmy lands in the president's car and sits on the button  
  
Camera guy zooms out of the world and watches it blow up.  
  
END 


End file.
